Tag Archive for ‘jokes’
Can You Bear It?
Church Ladies With Typewriters These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services: The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’The sermon tonight:’Searching for […]
Can You Bear It?
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U. C. L. A. The batteries were given out free of charge. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. A will is a dead giveaway. With […]
Can You Bear It?
Three elderly men are at the doctor’s office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, “What is three times three?” “274,” came the reply. The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?” “Tuesday,” replies the […]
Can You Bear It?
On an overseas flight a lawyer and an older man were in adjoining seats. The lawyer asked the senior if he’d like to play a little game. The older man was tired and he told the lawyer he only wanted to sleep. But the lawyer insisted the game was a lot of fun. “Here’s how […]
Can You Bear It?
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ – Come […]
Can You Bear It?
A blond goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards. She says to the shop assistant,”May I have 50 Christmas stamps?” The assistant says, “What denomination?” The blond says “God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 22 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 6 Baptists.” Some buffalo were […]
Can You Bear It?
Can you Bear It? It was one of those weird coincidences that occurs maybe once in a thousand years: That afternoon there converged on the neighborhood grocery store some 28 husbands, each of whom who had been sent out by their wives with very specific instructions as to what they should buy. In a further […]
Can You Bear It?
After being away on business for a week before his wife’s birthday, Tom thought it would be nice to bring her a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the shop assistant. She showed him a bottle costing $50. “That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. […]
Can You Bear It?
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch and sit with them, so she put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked […]
Can You Bear It?
An angry customer called the newspaper office, asking loudly to know where her Sunday paper was. “Madam”, said the newspaper employee, “today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow.” There was quite a long pause followed by dawning recognition … “Well, that explains why no one was at church!” More gems […]
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