Tag Archive for ‘jokes’
Can You Bear It?
A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, “How come after all these years we don’t see you at […]
Can You Bear It?
The Energizer bunny and Peter Cottontail got into an argument. The squabble quickly escalated until some friends needed to call the police. The two were arrested and taken to jail. One was later charged with Battery. Here’s a puzzle that has confounded even the brightest among us. You are on a Horse, galloping at […]
Can You Bear It?
Can you Bear It? A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it. “This is the Masterson diamond,” she said. “It’s beautiful, but there’s a terrible curse that goes with it.” “What’s the curse?” […]
Can you Bear It?
The Best Way To Pray A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby. “Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray,” the priest said. “No,” said the minister. “I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven.” “You’re both wrong,” […]
Can You Bear It?
A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town’s annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter. “This baked ham is really delicious,” the priest teased the rabbi. “You really ought to try it. I know it’s against your religion, but I can’t understand why such a wonderful food […]
Can You Bear It?
Two constables call the station on the radio. “Hello. Is this the Sarge?” “Yes?” “We have a case here Sir. A woman has shot her husband dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped.” “Have you arrested the woman?” “No sir. The floor is still wet.” As long as there have been farmers, there […]
Can You Bear It?
A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, “I know what the Bible means!” His father smiled and replied, “What do you mean, you ‘know’ what the Bible means?” The son replied, “I do know!” “Okay,” said his father. “What does the Bible mean?” “That’s easy, Daddy…” the young boy replied […]
Can You Bear It?
The Dinner She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them. Her husband suggested, “Why don’t you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream? “No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous.” “Well, I see squirrels eating them and they’re […]
Can You Bear It?
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out […]
Can You Bear It?
Sean is the vicar of a Protestant parish on the border of Northern Ireland and Southern Ireland, and Patrick is the priest at the Roman Catholic Church across the road. One day they are seen together, erecting a sign which says, “The end is near. Turn yourself around now, before it’s too late.” As a […]
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