Tag Archive for ‘clean jokes’
Can You Bear It?
Fr Jones asked his scripture class, “Why was Jesus born in Bethlehem?” His brightest student replied, “Because that’s where his mother was.” On Christmas eve, a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out of the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.” His wife asked, “How do you know?” “Because Rudolph the Red […]
Can You Bear It?
Two architects were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. ‘We’re supposed to find the height of this flagpole,’ said one, ‘but we don’t have a ladder.’ The woman took a spanner from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and […]
Can You Bear It?
Bob is a favourite conductor among commuters on the train. He has great rapport with the regulars, but occasionally runs into a problem rider. One passenger, for instance, seemed irritated at having to hand over his ticket to be punched. “Where are you going today?” Bob asked, smiling. “Well, what does the ticket say?” replied […]
Can You Bear It?
On an overseas flight a lawyer and an older man were in adjoining seats. The lawyer asked the senior if he’d like to play a little game. The older man was tired and he told the lawyer he only wanted to sleep. But the lawyer insisted the game was a lot of fun. “Here’s how […]
Can You Bear It?
Can you Bear It? It was one of those weird coincidences that occurs maybe once in a thousand years: That afternoon there converged on the neighborhood grocery store some 28 husbands, each of whom who had been sent out by their wives with very specific instructions as to what they should buy. In a further […]
Can You Bear It?
After being away on business for a week before his wife’s birthday, Tom thought it would be nice to bring her a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the shop assistant. She showed him a bottle costing $50. “That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. […]
Can You Bear It?
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch and sit with them, so she put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked […]
Can you bear it?
A priest dies and, dressed in his best vestments, waits in line at the Pearly Gates. Immediately in front of him is a chap dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter says to him, ‘Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the […]
Can You Bear It?
It’s 2012 and it’s the Olympics in London … A Scotsman, an Englishman and a New Zealander want to get in, but they haven’t got tickets.The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate. “ McTavish , Scotland,” he says, “Discus” and in he walks. The Englishman […]
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