Can You Bear It?

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, “I know what the Bible means!”

His father smiled and replied, “What do you mean, you ‘know’ what the Bible means?”

The son replied, “I do know!”

“Okay,” said his father. “What does the Bible mean?”

“That’s easy, Daddy...” the young boy replied excitedly, “it stands for ‘Basic Information Before Leaving Earth’.”

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

“Is there anything breakable in here?”  asked the postal clerk.

“Only the Ten Commandments.” answered the lady.

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honour and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out.” He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes.” Then he leaned toward the pastor and hissed, “I thought we had a deal.”

The pastor put the $100 bill back into the groom’s hand and whispered, “She made me a better offer.”