Can You Bear It?

Fr Jones asked his scripture class, "Why was Jesus born in Bethlehem?" His brightest student replied, "Because that's where his mother was."

On Christmas eve, a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out of the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.” His wife asked, “How do you know?” “Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!

A young man used to make a few extra dollars playing the bagpipes. He played mostly for funerals. On one occasion he was asked to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a cemetery in the countryside outside Tamworth. The young man got lost, and finally arrived an hour late. The funeral director had gone. All he saw were the diggers and crew left, and they were eating lunch. He felt bad and apologised for being late, went to the side of the grave, and looked down. The vault lid was already in place, but not knowing what else to do, he started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. He played his heart out for this man with no family and friends. He played as he'd never played before in memory of the homeless man. As he played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, he wept, they all wept together. When he finished, he packed up his bagpipes and started for his car. Though his head hung low, his heart was full. Just as he was opening the door to his car, he heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."