Can you Bear It?

The army captain spoke sternly to the corporal: “Corporal, where’s that horse I told you I wanted shod?” “Did you say shod?” said the corporal.

A priest was invited to a party. He was properly dressed, wearing his priest's collar. A little boy kept staring at him the entire evening. Finally, the priest asked the boy what he was staring at. He pointed to the priest's neck. When the priest finally realised what the boy was pointing at he asked the boy, "Do you know why I am wearing that?" The boy nodded his head yes, and replied, "It kills fleas and ticks for up to three months".

Moses' Mum

A man went to a psychiatrist and said he was worried that he was a dog. "It's terrible", said the man. "I walk around on all fours. I keep barking in the middle of the night and I can't go past a power pole anymore". "Okay", said the psychiatrist. "Lie down on the couch". The man replied, "I'm not allowed on the couch".

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mum, some of the kids at school today said that you were the Easter Bunny. Is that true?" The mother knelt down by her daughter and said, "Do you really want to know?" "Yes" the girl replied. The mother sighed, thinking of the end of the innocence of childhood, "Yes, dear, I am the Easter Bunny". The little girl looked at her in amazement. "How do you get to all those houses???"

Four priests were playing golf, wearing typical ‘golfer’ outfits. After a while, their caddy asked, "You guys wouldn't be priests by any chance?" "Actually, yes, we are", one of them replied. "How did you know?" “Easy -- I've never seen such bad golf and such clean language".