Can You Bear It?

A tribute to all Grandparents who have become computer literate!

The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly it's true!
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.

I've searched through the Recycle Bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Google
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online'.

So, if inside your 'Inbox',
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy', 'Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me!

My boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said, "Your wife called. She wants you to bring her sign back".

A priest wanted to rent a house in the country but the only one available was rumoured to be haunted. That didn’t bother the priest, since he didn’t believe in such things. He went ahead and rented the place. Soon the ghost made its appearance. The priest told his friends about the ghost, but they didn’t believe him. They told him the only way they would believe was if he took a picture of the ghost. The priest went home and called for the ghost. When it appeared, the priest explained the situation and asked the ghost if it would mind having its picture taken. The ghost agreed.

When the picture was developed, the ghost wasn’t visible. Feeling disappointed, the priest called again for the ghost. When it appeared, the priest showed it the picture and wanted to know why the ghost wasn’t in it. The ghost thought a minute and replied, “Well, I guess the spirit was willing, but the flash was weak!”