Talking About Spirituality Today: Five Gospel Loves:

By Fr Tom Ryan sm

 b] Prayer and Humour We saw last month the ‘must’ from Jesus - to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. In our lives, then, it is imperative that we put aside time for God, namely, we pray. But is it just a command laid on us from outside? Does the ‘must’ say more than that – namely about deepest ourselves? It reflects, firstly, our deepest human yearnings. We noted earlier that within the desire for happiness we find the desire for God - often couched in images of being hungry or thirsty. ‘As the deer years for living streams, so my heart is yearning for you my God’ (Ps. 42:1) Without air we cannot live. Without water we die. If we do not attend to our yearning for God through prayer, there is something missing. We are not truly alive. Secondly, we saw how, within the desire for happiness, there is implanted in every human heart a longing to love and to be loved. Prayer, then, is about both life and love. Revelation 3: 20 (see Holman Hunt’s painting mentioned earlier in this series) offers us three pointers on how God sees prayer. First, it is not just a need in us. Jesus knocks at the door (God desires to have a relationship with me). Second, only I can open the door (God cannot and will not force us to love). Finally, Jesus longs to share a meal with us (wants to be our friend). For God, prayer is about companionship and sharing a life. Prayer, then, reflects our deepest human need for what is life-giving and love-giving. If you read the Marist Messenger regularly, almost certainly it is to receive spiritual nourishment. We would agree that if God is important for us, then spending time with God will be a ‘must.’ Given that, I thought it might help to offer some words of reassurance and encouragement about nourishing our personal relationship with God in prayer.  Prayer: Practical Tips First, remember the short adage of Abbot John Chapman: Pray as you can, not as you can’t. This is central. Often we tend to come to prayer from a better ‘place’ than we are. It implies that prayer is a time when we must always be wearing our Sunday best. Only the nice or acceptable ‘me’ can come before the Lord. But all Jesus wants is our company. We may not feel very ‘worthy’. We may feel tired or upset. Part of me may not want to be there. But if the relationship means something, all I have to do is turn up. God will do the rest. Second, when and how to be with ‘God alone’ varies from person to person. It may be while walking, enjoying the sunset, savoring a passage in a book, sipping a cup of tea, listening to music, pondering Scripture, sharing in a group, fingering a Rosary or ‘quiet time’ alone in my room. Even if it is only ten minutes or so, if I give God the time, God will give me the time.  Thirdly, sometimes, we make the effort but God does not seem to be around. It is God’s absence rather than God’s presence that I experience. We worry - is it my fault? To check that out, just ask the Lord to show me what I need to see or do. If nothing happens, then just be peaceful. I am doing my best and God will be with me. When God does not seem to be present, there is another tip from William Barry. Ask God to help me see if something or someone has upset me – in anger, fear, guilt, shame. With unacknowledged feelings in prayer, then almost certainly a curtain will descend between me and the Lord.

William Barry SJ

With such ‘negative’ feelings we must be careful. Feeling ‘bad’ or uncomfortable, that does not necessarily mean we are bad because we have those feelings. They may be a perfectly understandable and normal reaction. So we ask the Lord’s help using four simple steps: to name what I feel then to claim it. Taking these two steps will lessen the feeling’s hold on me (tame it) and then I can aim it (direct that feeling in a constructive way). In other words, we are being transparent, being ourselves with God. Finally, the closer we get to God, the more God does the work. This is contemplative prayer – a normal development. We rely less on ideas or images. We are left with attentive gazing, quietly present before God. Why is this? When we pray, we are in God’s territory. At a certain point, God must take us by the hand and share his eyes (and heart) with us – through faith, hope and love. If I am unsure what is happening, here are two guideposts: I still desire to pray and be patient with God even when God does not seem to be very close. Deep down, I am at peace with God’s desires for me, even if I am not quite sure what they are. These desires truly are prayer. They are the Holy Spirit praying in us. Overall, being in tune with God will mean a deep sense of peace and harmony (even in times of suffering). This brings us to Prayer’s companion – humour. Humour The other side to humility is a sense of humour. Accepting ourselves as we are means we do not take ourselves too seriously. The ability to laugh at ourselves is the antidote to pride. As G K Chesterton once observed ‘Satan fell through force of gravity.’ Our desire for God is “more than matched by God’s desire for us” observes Wilkie Au. Spiritual life and prayer should be accompanied by a measure of light-heartedness. This is a sure remedy for anxiety about how we are ‘performing’ when we pray. When we think about it, the heart of humour is that something has a certain incongruity. Think of Zacchaeus. There is something amusing about an official establishment figure who is too short to see over the crowd. He climbs a tree to catch a sight of an itinerant preacher. There is the interplay of Zacchaeus’ awkwardness and Jesus’ disarming ease and familiarity in presenting himself to the tax collector and inviting himself to the official’s house. From being anxious and self-conscious, Zacchaeus becomes relaxed and joyful. Or think of the book of Jonah - an extended parable. It is a satire about being narrow-minded. Jonah is less a hero and more a caricature of a prophet. He represents the Israelite people who, essentially, take themselves too seriously. It has been suggested that the Book of Jonah is the high point in the Jewish story since is about a religious community free enough to make fun of itself. We find various practical jokes played by God on Jonah- prodigies of nature (storms, shipwrecks, a gigantic whale, a plant growing at night and withering in an hour). These devices help reinforce how Jonah represents a very narrow view about who does (Israelites) or who doesn’t (Ninevites) come within the embrace of God’s love. The emphasis is on God who can achieve the divine purposes even in spite of envoys like Jonah. Interestingly, all the characters in the book are likeable except the one Israelite, namely, the prophet Jonah. He ends up grumpy, pouting under a withered castor-oil tree. It is worthwhile reading the book of Jonah (it has four chapters). It helps us appreciate the need to keep ourselves (and life) in perspective. It also highlights an enduring temptation both in the spiritual life and in our prayer. Jonah’s actions and his dialogues with God reveal workings of the ‘unspiritual’ self’ we noted earlier. Jonah uses a range of strategies to resist, even oppose, the promptings of God’s Spirit. Conclusion Prayer and humour help us to see life and the world from God’s perspective. They can ease anxiety and foster inner peace. With all our efforts, ultimately God is in charge. It is all God’s work.   Next Month: Ministry and Leisure Sources: Wilkie Au, By Way of the Heart: Toward a Holistic Christian Spirituality (Paulist, 1989) William A Barry, SJ, God and You: Prayer as a Personal Relationship (Paulist, 1987).